Home Girl Blog

About that time I didn't have my iPhone

I ran across this Washington Post article yesterday on Facebook: Parents, can we put down our cameras?  In it, a parent writes about watching her child's big moment though a camera preview screen. Saturday, my iPhone conspired with the universe to force me to be present and experience a pretty epic day with my son in person, with no digital proof of the experience on social media. Just memories and stories to share with others. And we survived. 

We won tickets to a SuperLeague Minecraft event from LiveMom. Understatement: My son loves Minecraft. He only gets to play during his Saturday screen time, and when his behavior at school goes left, he loses the privilege and has to earn it back. Last week, he needed a stellar weekly progress report in order to play Minecraft and he got one. When I revealed to him on Saturday morning that I was taking him someplace to play Minecraft (he screamed)...with about fifty other kids (he ran and screamed)...on his laptop inside a movie theater on the movie screen, his gleeful screaming and running in circles came to a abrupt stop right in front of where I was sitting. He looked at me stone-faced and said, "Catch me." Then he turned around and pretended to faint on me. I was so happy for him. The night before, I made sure to charge my iPhone, because I was going to get some great pictures for Facebook and Instagram. 

After I saw the email that we had won the tickets, I checked my calendar and realized that Zack's first piano recital was scheduled at the same time as the Minecraft event. Fortunately, the piano teacher was cool with penciling Zack in on the already printed program for a later afternoon spot. It was going to make us late for one of his favorite friends' birthday party. Worth it. 

Enter The Universe and her conspiracy with my iPhone to force me backwards twenty technology years.

My First Day As An Ex Homeschooler in GIFs

Zack is seven. We pulled him out of Montessori preschool when he was three and a half years old to homeschool part time, which turned into homeschool full time. He is brilliant and came here with a few bells and whistles. Our homeschool years were fun and stressful and our school search was intense. He is the most social person I know and I am the most anti-social pro-solitude person I know, so we are all happy that he will get to go to an amazing school with amazing teachers and peers every day. His new daily social life as a second grader marks the beginning of my new daily early-morning life as an ex-homeschooler. I will now have to get up in the morning and function during a time when I am usually just getting into my REM sleep. I will have to change some of my nocturnal ways. In the meantime I will become one with my coffee beans. The first day of school is behind us and I must say, we kilt it. I was going to write all about it, but why write mere words when GIFs can say so much? 

Space Jam, Being Old and One-upping Siri

Seaux. I took Zack to see Space Jam eight weeks ago, according to my Instagram pic. I posted this on my personal Facebook page two weeks ago when it happened, but had to share it over here. So six weekd after watching Space Jam, why is he asking me a most random and a most awesome follow-up question so long after seeing the film?

Important: The movie website for Space Jam from 1996 is still up and has not been updated since 1996. If you're like me and were in college at the time when the Internet became a thing and you want to feel very old, take a look here.

Not sure why Warner Brothers allows this to stay online, but kinda happy they did. This is like a full-circle moment for me because my first website ever created, for a computer class in college, was "RAQUEL'S WORLD" (in all caps and so creative!) and featured Daffy Duck on my title page. It was complete with a rainbow sparkle background effect. I posted a throwback on Instagram just now as I'm writing this because I remembered that I had a photo! Also a full-circle moment because my husband, then boyfriend, is STILL helping me with my computer stuff 18 years later. 

#WaybackWendnesday because it's not #ThrowbackThursday and I want to post an old pic. The year is 1996. This is my boyfriend/husband (and his Bolivian roommates cigs) helping me with my first website, Raquel's World, for a class project because the Internet was just becoming a thing then and we we are old.

Anyway, so here's what happened...

Zack: Mom, what does diminutive (pronounced correctly) mean?

Me: How do you know that word?

Zack: Remember in Space Jam when those little aliens got off the ship and they showed his face and he said (doing a great Bugs Bunny impression), "Diminutive, ain't they?" What did that mean?

Me: (acting like this is a very normal thing to be happening right now) Yeah, I do remember that. He was making a comment about the aliens right?

Zack: Yeah.

Me: What do you think he meant? He saw them, and that was his first reaction. What do you think he could have meant just from looking at them the first time?

Zack: Well...they were really small...

Me: (hoping the used kids dictionary I bought contained the word because I NEEDED it to be in there to get my 6 year old to believe that this magic book of words is as awesome and more accessible than Siri) Hmmm. Let's look it up in the dictionary to see what diminutive means.

Zack gets dictionary, finds the D's, we figure out the spelling and eventually find it. He reads the definition, "very small", with so much excitement and I feed off it and fuel it with a high five and we talk about context clues and the awesomeness of the dictionary.

Buuuuuuut, we saw Space Jam a month and a half ago, and a grand total of one times. And this little boy gonna ask me about some diminutive, remember how it was used and gone pronounce it right on top of that? Whatever, Zack.

Also, naturally I'm going to try not to suck the fun out if his TV/movie watching by pulling out vocabulary words and incorporating them into his spelling and writing work for homeschool. I'll try not to suck the fun out of it, because it's totally happening.

My Mickey Mouse & Monsters Inc. Mashup Disney Side Home Celebration & Giveaway

So this happened. I was selected to participate in the Disney Side Home Celebration campaign. I received an awesome official Disney Traveler suitcase from sponsor, American Tourister. It's purple, my favorite color, which they learned when I filled out the application to be considered for the campaign, courtesy Mom Select via Blogalicious B-Link. It arrived full of everything I would need, thanks to Disney Parks, to throw a Mickey Mouse themed party as well as party favors for guests and a few other gifts por moi.

If y'all have learned anything about me over the years, you know that I was a reluctant Disney fan. I made sure to tell Disney Parks this on my application, so it's all good--we can talk like family. I didn't grow up on Disney. Wonder Woman, Looney Tunes (wait--is that Disney?) and The Smurfs were my jams. I've never been to Disneyland. I've never been into Disney princesses. The only Disney princess movies I have seen are The Little Mermaid and Mulan and I just watched Mulan a couple of years ago after me and my now six year old son read the book. I celebrated the first black Disney princess--haven't seen the film yet, but my son's first and favorite Leapster game (I won the Leapster 2 and the game at Blogolicious one year) is Princess and The Frog. My pre-parenthood Disney movie watching happened in college. Lion King and it's soundtrack are forever my Disney all time favorite everythings. Because I didn't grow up on Disney, when I had my son, I had no intention of growing him up on Disney. But one day he saw Lightening McQueen on something someplace and about a year after that saw him moving and talking on a television in kid care while I was at the gym and resistance was futile after that point. My son is a car fanatic (that is not an understatement) and since Cars came out and Wall-E and Pixar came into my sons realm of exposure, we have not missed a Disney beat. We did go to see Frozen and those sisters totally opened my heart to Disney Princess movies. So that's my history with Disney. 

When I received my suitcase with everything for a Mickey Mouse party, I knew I couldn't throw a Mickey Mouse party. So I thought to mix Mickey with Monster's Inc. because it was a cool mix of classic Diseny and modern Disney Pixar and the alliteration in Mickey Mouse & Monsters Inc. Mashup made for a good title on the evite and on this blog post. 

Created with images from Disney and Disney Pixar

Keep reading for a brief rundown of my Disney Side Home Celebration party elements and more details on how to enter my Disney Mickey and Minnie Art Memorabilia giveaway.

This post contains Amazon Affiliate links. Full disclosure statement in my sidebar. 

I'm A Sapiosexual and I Know It

Sapiosexual (n)- a person who is sexually attracted to intelligence in others.

Just like any person with eyesight, I know how to appreciate the aesthetics of a good looking man. But I've never connected emotionally with looks. Just like any person, certain physical characteristics appeal to me more than others like dark skin, strong shoulders, hyper-masculine facial features like a strong nose, chin and brow bone, and full lips. That's a good start for me on any day, but it's not the most important thing.

I remember freshman year in college, my frends thinking I was crazy because I refused the affections of a very beautiful latino boy I went to high school with. They met him at the mall and when he found out they knew me, he told them how much he loved me and they later told me I was crazy for not giving him the time of day. He found out where I lived on campus and showed up several days in a row begging me to be his girlfriend. He was good-looking, but so what? He simply wasn't very bright. There was another boy in my homeroom class in high school who was really cute, but he didn't make very good grades and he just didn't sound intelligent when he spoke. He wrote me love letters with terrible grammatical errors almost daily and just made things worse for himself. He stole a kiss from me one day at our lockers and after that, he was basically dead to me.

At the time, I was crushing on my friend of mine from middle school. He was not attractive by any means to anybody, but I had the biggest crush on him. We rode the bus together in middle school and kept in touch during high school. I was so excited when I learned we would be in college together and we wasted no time memorizing each others' schedules and spending every free moment on campus together. He was oblivious. He was always the smartest boy in school, definitely the most interesting person I knew and I never wanted our conversations to end. Only two people knew how much I liked him. I never told him because he was a Jahovah's Witness and I knew that we could only be friends as long as I allowed him to witness to me. He told me so. We were together on campus so much that even the cafeteria staffers and campus custodians would ask if we were a couple. I was aware that we were an odd pair--I was super hot in college--but we weren't a couple. I wanted us to be and I think we reached that point in a friendship like ours where you clearly become boyfriend and girlfriend, and I think it scared him a lot. He was a strict Jahovah's Witness and there was no way we could continue to be such close friends after that.

After freshman year, he transferred to another school and we slowly fell out of touch. Two years later, my cousin, who went to school with him, told me that she told him how much I loved him. I was shocked and embarrassed, but relieved, because at least now he knew. I always worked in the campus library during college and right before graduation, he found me shelving books on the top floor--where he would find me freshman year when I was working and keep me company. It had been three years since I had seen him and I was all but engaged to my husband by that time, but when I saw him, books dropped, hands on mouth, hands over heart, screech, sprint, jump, hug. Neither one of us could stop smiling and laughing. He was actually handsome now! He was always taller than me, but was chubby before and now he was slim, revealing all the important bones in a man's face. His braces were off, revealing a great smile. He claimed he was at our library to find a book that wasn't on his campus, which I never bought because his school's library was way superior to ours. I knew he just wanted to see me, and to let me see his new handsome self. My friends never understood why I was so smitten with him, but he was SO smart! 

When I met my husband, my sophomore year in college, his freshman year, I knew he had joined some of our other friends from St. Vincent at college. When I met him, my first impression was wow, he really likes me. If we were cartoons, his tongue would have hit the ground and I'd have seen the the hearts in his eyes and the birds and stars flying around his head. His friends later confirmed that it was love at first sight. I was amused, but that's basically it. After a few more encounters and conversations, I learned that he was super smart in school back in St. Vincent and that's how he got to come to college here. He told me how he had never touched a computer back home, but knew he wanted to program them and so picked the hardest major in our very competitive Engineering program. I found I always left our conversations enriched somehow and having learned about something that I didn't know before. During those conversations, you would have seen the hearts in my eyes. I'd overhear him studying and talking in computer languages to his friends and it really turned me on. Even now, I joke about how happy I am when he decides to work from home because I get to eavesdrop on his computer programming phone calls that sound like a Star Trek language to me--it's like fore-foreplay. Between you and me, I think he purposefully talks extra loud to make sure I'm getting an ear-full. He knows what's good for him. I really like a man who knows a lot about one thing and a little bit about a lot of other things. When Beyoncé's Crazy in Love came out all I could say was amen when she said, "It's the way that you know what I thought I knew. It's the beat that my heart skips when I'm with you..." He's SO smart! 

Once, I met a childhood friend of my husband who was even smarter than him and had gone to one of the best universities in the world and had double-majored in insanely hard subjects and had travelled the world and excelled in sports. I remember thinking he was just an all around superior human--physically and mentally exceptional. We all went out and I ended up sitting next to his friend at dinner and we talked (too much) the whole evening. He was SO smart! After dinner, I told my husband, I just met his competition and he'd better keep his friend away from me. I was joking but kinda serious and really glad we lived in different countries.

When I really realized my attraction to intelligence was really real, and was indeed a sexual attraction was this one time when my husband and I took Zack to a neurologist. Zack was 4 months old at the time. Due to an irregularity in his initial examination when he was born, we had been referred to a top pediatric neurosurgeon--in the country--from Duke--a black man--to take a look at Zack to see what next steps should be. I was already intrigued and impressed, then he came into the exam room. He addressed my husband mostly since I was, for the most part, dumbfounded. He began explaining what we were dealing with and the need for next steps and my husband was completing his sentences and conversing with this neurosurgeon and I saw a mutual respect emerge between them as the doctor realized my husband had actually paid attention in Biology or Anatomy or whatever and knew what he was talking about. I was in this small exam room sitting between two dark skinned, intelligent men tossing words and phrases around that I didn't completely follow and I started to sweat a little bit in my arm pits and other grown up places and they both became a swirling mass of big shoulders and strong noses and brains and I was literally turned on. Like, for real. I called my best friend after that visit to confess and we had a good laugh about it. 

When I found out that there was a new word to categorize me and that I was not alone, I felt a little less strange. I am a Sapiosexual. If I hadn't met my husband in college, I wonder if I would have trolled grad school happy hours for dates. I'm actually glad that the strongest part of my attraction to my husband (or guys before him) is not on the outside. When we met, I actually was not physically attracted to him. The more we talked and the bigger his chest and shoulders got, the more attracted I was to him inside and out. Although I do feel like I have won the husband lottery in those aspects, his appeal has always been intellectual. Looks fade, change, or can be altered in a minute.

Save the pretty face for somebody else, just give me them brains! 

What Does What You're Reading Say About Your Sex Life?

What you are reading (probably) has nothing to do with your sex life, but this is a fun thing to do. I saw it on Facebook and my reply was way too long to post on Facebook without looking like I have nothing better to do than play along with random Facebook games at seven o'clock at night when I do have better things to do like update my blog, which hasn't been updated since MLK Day.

This was fun.

So the pic says to open the book nearest you to page 45 and the first sentence explains your love life. Here's my answer:

"For I have come to have much joy and comfort in your love. (Philemon 7)"

1. Awwww!
2. I had to google to make sure that Philemon was even a real book in the bible and I basically memorized the bible as a kid, so...
3. This is the first and last time y'all will see me quote the bible on here except I'm sure I must have posted "Jesus wept" at some point over the years.
4. I was sitting next to my husband's side of the bed. We're both cool with Jesus wanting us for sunbeams, but sunbeams come custom fit for people like my husband and they're rarely made like me. I'm more of a cumulus cloud type. If you got the Nirvana reference, you're probably a cumulus cloud type too. Twinkies! 
5. If I were sitting on my side of the bed, the response would have been:

"The White Way is practiced by most African Americans; it assumes that while society places undue burdens on young black men--police harassment, severe sentencing in juvenile courts, and low expectations for academic performance – it is basically "fair" to them, and if problems do arise, they can be solved within a system that is relatively stable and biased." 

If you're wondering what we are reading...

The book on my husband's side of the bed is The Love Dare, as featured in that Christian movie Fireproof (your marriage), which your church probably asked the married couples to watch together and discuss.

 

The book on my side is The Warrior Method: A Parent's Guide to Rearing Healthy Black Boys, which is a book you'd probably read if you're a parent of a black boy, but you'd only bring it up in discussions with people who don't need you to explain why you're reading it. 

So there. 

I'm not sure what these say about our love life, but if these books were the only things we left behind, whomever discovered them would find a pretty good representation of who we were.

What does what you're reading say about you? 

Martin Luther King, Jr. was here, but we're not there yet.

Note: I post this annually, but there's an important excerpt and update this time. 

Where ever you are today (well, not today-today, because we all come together for rallies and marches and speeches today, but I mean on a regular "today"), look around and there is a pretty good chance that, had it not been for Martin Luther King, Jr. (and granted, other leaders of the American civil rights movement), your surroundings might look a little bit different. Some folks' surroundings (especially in places down here in TX) haven't changed much at all. Some people are grateful for the changes, some are resentful. Either way, we have come a long way and still have a long way to go towards racial, social and gender equality in this country. 

Martin Luther King, Jr. understood that people were not going to change fast enough for the social climate to change back then. He got that we are a nation of laws (unfair as they were) and that it is more important to appeal to the courts (white as they were) than to the cold hearts of fellow Americans who were perfectly fine with the way things were. So they fought. And some laws changed. Today, the fight continues and the changes continue. As much as we would love to look to the White House, now inhabited by a black family, and say we are finally looking down from King's mountaintop , it is imperative that we recognize that we are not there yet. 

And that's OKAY. For every 60, 70, 80 year old black person still harboring resentment from growing up and living in perpetual nobodiness, there are just as many or more 60, 70, 80 year old white folks still harboring resentment for the laws that made it possible for blacks to be treated like human beings. And these black and white people have raised children and their friends have raised children, and have very likely imparted their beliefs of racial inferiority or superiority to those children. So for every 20, 30, 40 year old black person who achieves a measurable level of education and success, there are just as many or more 20,30, 40 year old white folks who think their own ability to achieve is threatened by affirmative action. White privilege is alive and very real. Racism is alive and very real. We have made great strides, but we are not there yet.

Here is an excerpt from an essay I ran across this week from Daily Kos. It talks about King's most important accomplishment and it has nothing to do with his speech or the march. The most poignant and powerful thing about this essay, which I encourage you to read in it's entirety, is that the person writing it was there. This wasn't that long ago. We're still in healing mode, as a nation, but especially as black people: 

"This is going to sound awful and perhaps a stain on my late father's memory, but when I was little, before the civil rights movement, my father taught me many, many humiliating practices in order to prevent the random, terroristic, berserk behavior of white people. The one I remember most is that when walking down the street in New York City side by side, hand in hand with my hero-father, if a white woman approached on the same sidewalk, I was to take off my hat and walk behind my father, because he had been taught in the south that black males for some reason were supposed to walk single file in the presence of any white lady. This was just one of many humiliating practices we were taught to prevent white people from going berserk. I remember a huge family reunion one August with my aunts and uncles and cousins gathered around my grandparent's vast breakfast table laden with food from the farm, and the state troopers drove up to the house with a car full of rifles and shotguns, and everyone went kind of weirdly blank. They put on the masks that black people used back then to not provoke white berserkness. My strong, valiant, self educated, articulate uncles, whom I adored, became shuffling, Step-N-Fetchits to avoid provoking the white men. Fortunately the troopers were only looking for an escaped convict. Afterward, the women, my aunts, were furious at the humiliating performance of the men, and said so, something that even a child could understand." Full Essay Here. 

There might be a mountaintop up there, but we have not seen it. A few more generations from now, maybe hearts and minds will catch up with the laws and there might actually be racial, social and gender equality in the United States. Hope is enough for politicians and activists and citizens to keep fighting and winning awesome, small battles that amount to awesome, big changes. Hope is good for movement and growth and momentum. 

I said all that to say that laws change overnight. People, intellectual values and grand sweeping ideas on race and equality do not. Martin Luther King, Jr. said it best,  "It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can keep him from lynching me, and I think that’s pretty important.”

I'm just sayin'.

I Am Really Into The Hunger Games

I could have titled this post 'I'm Obsessed With Hunger Games', but that would imply that my deep interest is completely out of my control, but it is not because I can stop whenever I want. Hunger Games was my introduction to dystopian fiction. Immediately after I finished the trilogy, I googled and took the advice of a friend and "read" Divergent. The quotation marks are because I finished the whole trilogy via audio book in like three days, which means I did nothing else with my life during that time other than make sure my son didn't starve. We're gonna talk about Divergent later, because if Hunger Games is my boo, then Divergent is my side-boo.

At first I had decided not to blog about my love for all things Hunger Games--the books, films and actors, but I figure it's better to let it out in small doses than keep it bottled up inside, in which case, it would surely explode into some extreme fan rant of a post that might leave you guys thinking I need some kind of intervention. So instead, I'll post little Hunger Games love nuggets throughout the year like the fact that I'm planning to knit the cowl Katniss Everdeen wears in the opening scene of Catching Fire so I can wear it on Halloween when I will be Katniss Everdeen.

Spoiler Alert

If you haven't read the books and want to hold out for the last film in 2015 to find out how it ends (are you human?!) then stop reading now. Skip the next paragraph. 

If I become pregnant this year and am showing by Halloween, I will still knit the cowl, but will draw inspiration for my costume from Katniss as The Mockingjay and will be pregnant Katniss (she has Peeta's babies and they live happily ever after) this year, and Catching Fire Katniss with the cowl next Halloween. I can't be Catching Fire Katniss because I want to do a fan photo shoot dressed as her and I don't want a baby bump to be distracting. I digress--and have probably shared way too much already. 

End Spoiler Alert

I'm also probably going to be one of those crazy adult fans of these books for teenagers who gets tattoos inspired by them. I already know the quote and design I want from Hunger Games book 1, and am currently talking myself out of getting the ravens from Divergent. I'll try to keep most of my HG worship on my Pinterest board where I browse and pin items in bed during bouts of insomnia and dropping my iPhone on my face. In between the posts and pins and re-watching the movies and cast interviews on youtube, I'll keep my husband shaking his head as I knit my cowl, or hunt (pun intended) for perfect lace-up leather boots in my size for my Halloween Katniss, or watch Hunger Games for the fiftyleventh time on Netflix or make awesome observations like this one from a couple of weeks ago...

I saw this tree when we were hanging out in a park in our community. 

When we started walking through the trees, almost under my breath, I was like, "This reminds me of Hunger Games." Then a few moments later, we passed this tree. The second I saw it, I jumped a little bit and was like, "OMG, that's the PERfect spot to stash a bow and arrows!" I said this while looking at the tree in total shock and turned to my husband with my shock-face who just shook his head and agreed with me in an amused yet very unimpressed manner. That's the day I started my Pinterest board because much like my standom of Beyoncé, I can only share my in-person Hunger Games excitement with fans who are equally or more excited than I am. Since I'm different from my friends, that just leaves the fan sites. 

I could go on, but I'll spare you. Also, I won't close this post with Happy Hunger Games and may the odds be ever in your favor, but at least I got to write it right there. 

Until next time, 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

I'm going to enjoy the next few days napping as much as possible and doing everything else in between meals and trips to the bathroom. 

Thanks so much for reading Home Girl Blog in 2013! 

See y'all in 2014! 

My Son Still Kinda Refuses To Not Believe In Santa

*Update* Zack still kinda doesn't believe and periodically asks, just to be sure, "Mom? Santa isn't real right? So, even if I'm not good sometimes, he really doesn't have a naughty list or anything like that, right?" 

Originally posted on Christmas Day 2011... 

Call me a grinch, but I don't want my son to believe in Santa. It is a waste of time, and feels like a terrible, drawn out practical joke. One day, he will find out that it was all a lie and what good does the whole believing in Santa thing do anyway. 

A few weeks ago I saw the Mission Impossible meets Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer film Arthur Christmas with my almost 4 year-old. It is an awesome little movie about how Santa and his elves get gifts under children's trees on Christmas Eve. That is how my son learned about Santa. A few days before Christmas, he asked me if Santa was going to bring his gifts through our fireplace while he was sleeping. Our conversation went something like this:

Him: Mom, will Santa bring my presents and put them under the tree while I'm sleeping on Christmas Eve so when I wake up I will see them and be happy?

Me: Well. Actually, mom and dad buy your gifts, wrap them up and put them under the tree. Santa is just pretend. You know, like Batman and Little Bill? Just pretend. So, he can't bring your presents because he's not real. 

Him: But mo'om! I LOVE Santa! I want Santa to bring my presents! 

Me: But he's just pretend, remember? 

Him: No, mom, I WANT SANTA! 

Me: Mmmkaaaaay? Ok. 

Him: *pumps fist* Yes! 

I tried. I guess I could have continued to try to convince him, but he was so insistent and I am not a monster. So I gave up, and let him have his not-pretend Santa. Unbeknownst to me at the time, not-pretend Santa would come in handy during the days leading up to Christmas. 

We are Christians, and are teaching our son about Jesus. I could talk about how confusing the concept of real Jesus/fake Santa is to a 3 year-old, but I'm not an expert on the topic.  My son, however displayed his depth of understanding at one point when he did proclaim that if Santa was pretend then Jesus was pretend too, because they're both "watching" (wink-wink) to see when I'm bad. My husband, who is a closer friend to Jesus than me, almost had a heart attack and tried explaining that Jesus is in fact real and that Christmas is his birthday...at which point my son said he wanted to give Jesus a race car for his birthday. And if Jesus is real and cares for him, then Jesus and Santa must be friends. So. I digress.

I must give props to not-pretend Santa because he did a much better job than mommy, daddy, and Jesus combined to get my son to walk the straight and narrow. I did not have to ask him twice to do anything! The first time I witnessed Santa's power was when Zack refused to take his nap...

Me: Zack, come into your room, it's time to rest up so you'll have energy for later.

Him: I have lots of energy! I don't WANT to take. my. nap. 

Me: Hmmm. I bet if I call Santa (because all parents have Santa's cell phone number), he wouldn't be to happy with your behavior right now. 

Him: NO! (He runs into the room.) Mommy, don't call Santa! Let's try again! (He leaves the room.) Ok mom, NOW tell me it's nap time again! (I did)...

Him: OKAAAY MOOOOM! (Runs into room and dives into bed. Score 1 for Santa)

For two whole days, Santa was my homeboy. How many times did I say, "Do I need to call Santa to tell him how you're behaving right now?"  Sometimes, when Zack would slip up, he would stop and say, "Um. Santa wouldn't like that too much, huh?"  Not-pretend Santa had my son, self-correcting! For one second, I was tempted to get an Elf on The Shelf--you know the little doll that looses it's magical powers if touched by a child and keeps an eye on the kids, comes to life and reports to Santa at night while everyone is asleep and moves to a different location in the house every day? The good-behavior payoff would be incredible, but to keep that up for a whole year would be kind of evil and ultimately, very creepy. 

I don't know what I'm gonna do after Christmas. #JudgeMe for using not-pretend Santa to my advantage, but I was drunk with power. Knowing my son, this puts a bit of a wrench in our 'behave well to please God and Jesus' thing. Zack is sure to question why Santa can't be real like Jesus, but he is just three years old. He has plenty of time decide what he's going to believe, but please, Dear Santa and Jesus, let him believe in Santa for the next 364 days. At least! Thanks and Amen. lol

Do you encourage your child to believe in Santa? Has it interfered at all if you're also teaching them about Jesus?

Listen: Zack's Latest Original Songs

Y'all remember how when Zack was 4 years old, he started to work out his pain and frustration through creating dark and moody songs and "playing" them on his acoustic guitar? I posted the two songs he made when he was 4 years old here. I think he made them in one day--apparently he was dealing with a lot that day. Then there are the two he made recently, again on the same day--when he's on, he's on. 

His Latest Songs

This one was inspired by his friendless summer camp days at the YMCA. Sometimes, unknowingly, parents don't always encourage their kids to gravitate towards or to embrace kids who are different. We live in a very white part of town and Zack was the only black kid in the basketball summer camp. He came home the first two days very sad because he said when he would try to talk or play with other kids they "ignored" him or "walked away" from him. If you know Zack, you already know he attracts people like a magnet and is extremely social. He has lots of friends--some from his past school and other activities, but most from my moms group. He always makes friends easily in the gym or drop-in playcare or randomly on the playground, which is why this surprised me. Unfortunately, some kids never see their families socialize or interact with people who don't look like them and they just don't know what to do with a little black kid. If this sounds foreign to you, you're probably not a brown person, but trust me--this happens all the time and not just to kids. After two sad days, the only reason I allowed him to finish the week there was when I walked him inside to spy on the third day, I saw how he lit up and ran to the only black counselor there, a young man, and when the guy made eye contact with me he gave me that universal chin-up that we understand to mean "I see you out here in this white world--I see you and I got you." I left and called my BFF, also mom to a black boy out here in these suburban streets, who shared my relief and moved on with life. I digress. Zack came home from Day 2 of camp, and this happened:

"I Wish I Had Some Friends"

And this happened the same day. The following song is a combination of him wishing he wasn't afraid of flies and, in my opinion, his subconscious desire to be different--because maybe if he were different somehow or more like the at the YMCA who all looked similar to each other, maybe they would want to play with him the way they play with each other. Just my opinion due to the timing. 

"I Wish I Was A Grown Up (Insect)"

These songs happen all the time around my house. I have others on tape that I don't share, but every once in a while, he sings something insanely poignant and maybe catchy and I interrupt and ask him if I can record him. He has only objected once.  

In Defense Of Kissing My Son Too Much

I'm documenting this conversation with my son to serve as evidence er as insurance er to guilt him into er to forever remember how affectionate he is at this age.

Me (holding 5 year old who is the height of an average 7 year old in my lap): One day you will be too big for me to hold you like this! You use to be my Baby Zack. 

Him: Yeah. It's too bad I'm growing up so fast. Maybe you can't hold me but you will always have my huggies and kissies. 

Me: Zack, do you really mean that? 

Him: Yeah! Even when I'm a teenager, and even when I'm a dad you can still have my huggies and kisses. Because I always want your huggies and kissies because they just make me feel so happy and cuddly. 

Me (kissing him on his cheek then hugging him to me cheek to cheek): Zack, please always feel that way. 

Him: I will mom. It's the truth!

My sweet baby. I probably kiss him too much, if there is such a thing. But I can't help it. I know at some point it's going to perhaps become inappropriate for me to kiss him so much, but I don't want to think about that right now. I'm definitely getting my overt affection in while I can. One day I'm going to have to control my impulse to pretend my lips are stuck to his cheek to his delight. One day I'm going to have to let him sit somewhere looking so cute and kissable and not ask him if I can kiss his cheek and kiss it twenty times in a row. One day I'm going to have to settle for a hello and goodbye hug and maybe kiss. But I'm convinced that kids come with all those cheeks for a reason. So today, I'm getting it in.

And So The Student Becomes The Teacher

I currently homeschool and my 5 year old. He "taught" me all about stars and constellations today.

He decided he wanted to be the teacher and did all the reading (he's been reading since age 3) and I had to raise my hand to answer his questions. It was perfect. He was really into it. He read the whole chapter to me, pausing to ask the questions in the margins and at the end of chapter review. I raised my hand to answer his questions and asked a few of my own.  He asked follow-up questions until he understood whatever aspect of stars we were discussing. It was awesome. When we finished and were moving from the living room back into our "classroom" for his next subject, we had an awesome exchange that went like this:

Him: Mom? I never taught you anything like that before, right? I didn't even know I knew all that stuff. I just gotta teach you about something else in science next time. Maybe I'll teach you about habitats or animals or something. I know a LOT about animals. Or maybe speed and velocity! I know a LOT about speed and velocity.

Me: Zack, that's a great idea. 

Our follow-up project will be to make our own constellation by poking holes into the bottom of an empty cardboard oatmeal container and shining a flashlight throught it onto the wall in his darkened bedroom. I will spread out all the materials we need on the table and will casually say 'Gee, I sure wish we could make our own constellations--wouldn't that be neat' and see where we end up. 

He has totally created a monster. I'm all...

Austin City Limits Music Festival 2013

Two outta three ain't bad. Weekend two of the ACL Festival ended one day ahead of time due to flooding at Zilker Park and surrounding area. It kinda sucked for us because after day 1, we decided we'd save our kid-free night for the final night and get close enough to the stage, for once, and at least get a decent photo of Lionel Richie performing. But it rained. On the bright side, we're getting a third of the ticket price refunded--not bad--and we had a great time for two days at the festival again with Zack. 

Five Highlights of Two/Thirds of Weekend Two At ACL Fest 2013 (in no particular order):

1. Kendrick Lamar wins for most cell phone lights (over 20K) in the air at a concert ever. When I googled for a pic--because ours sucks--I decided that deaf people win for coming to a music festival, and this ASL sign-language interpreter wins for signing Kendrick Lamar's "P&P" with feeling. FYI, if you follow that link, one of the P's in that title is definitely the p-word. 
2. Leaving the car at a Capital City Metro Park & Ride in the suburbs and taking the Metro Rail downtown to catch the free shuttle to the festival? Totally a great idea. We were in constant motion until we made it through the gates of Austin Kiddie Limits. The lines kept moving because the shuttles kept moving--it was awesome. For once, I made it into downtown Austin without wishing that we lived closer to all the fun. I mean, I do wish that, but I usually say it out loud while sitting in traffic on the highway. Anyway...
3. Seeing Fun. live was awesomesauce for all of us, as you'll see in the pics and video below. When lead singer, Nate Ruess, hit the stage my son was all smiles. One time we were driving to Dallas and he asked me to play just "Some Nights" in a repeat loop all the way there. After a while, he decided we should add "We Are Young", and that's what we listened to the whole drive. When I asked him what was his favorite part of ACL that day, he said, "I really liked that Fun guy's golden microphone. It was so awesome." I told him I agreed the gold mic was kinda dope. And all I needed in life this weekend was to sing along to "Carry On" at the top of my voice in a crowd of other Fun. fans at a live concert. Amen. 
   

   Image Source: www.austinchronicle.com
4. The Verve Pipe at Austin Kiddie Limits was pretty cool. You gotta love a rock band that starts singing kid-rock when they become dads. Kinda like how Eddie Murphy and Ice Cube went kid-friendly with their careers when they became dads. I bet when Verve Pipe was singing "Freshmen", for the life of them, they never thought they'd be singing about the awesomeness of Cereal. Kid-rock seems like a great second-wind career move for them. They are awesome musicians and rocked the Kiddie Limits stage. 
5. Wild Belle. Easily the coolest brother-sister band on the planet. When I was minding my business eating my lunch, I wasn't ready to see them when I followed the soulful voice over a reggae beat (a Google search later told me they were singing "It's Too Late"). I'd tell you why, but you'd probably judge me for it, plus look at the picture and use context clues.

Image Source: thekey.xpn.org

I didn't know they existed before ACL Fest, now I can't get over how their music and videos are like nothing else--that I can compare them to anyway. 

Since there are only so many photos you can take of an ACL Fest stage so far away to see the artist that it just looks like an empty stage, I'm sharing pics from everything we could see close-up and personal, which happened mostly in Austin Kiddie Limits.

All the following pics and video were captured with our fancy iPhones. 

DJ Zack with Half of The Q Brothers! Easily the highlight of his ACL Fest experience this year.

Yep. We brought our big kid to the festival in a stroller. Everybody who looked at me crazy can kick rocks.

Downtime in between fun and shows was easy-peasy thanks to our BOB stroller. The hubs took this pic from his crash spot, face up on our blanket.

Jamming to Fun.

Group selfie! Waiting for Fun. to come on. I just want to be clear--my face is closest to the camera, therefore looks significantly larger than the other adult in the picture. In real life, I do not have a giant face. 

Rock Star Hair Color by Avant Salon and Spa

When he saw his after pic, he slowly looked away from the mirror and the shy finger took it's place in between his teeth.

School of Rock tent was entirely too much awesomeness.

What good is a day at the park without Hot Wheels in the sand pit? Long after Kiddie Limits closed, there was still fun to be had and right next to Lady Bird stage!

I heart Austin City Limits Music Festival for making it possible for parents to enjoy a kick-ass music festival, not stress about babysitting and still feel like one of the cool kids.  

If you went to ACL Fest this year, with our without kids, what was the highlight of the weekend for you?

My Chatterbox Boy

And it don't stop. I snapped these pics over about a 20 second time frame. I started in the middle of an adventurous tale about a car race. What's an adventurous tale about a car race without sound effects? 

"...and then they CRASHED?! and there was really, REAllY!! a lot of smoke but the cars KEPT!! RACING!! and they were like vrooooom, vroooooooom..."

My son talks a lot and mostly about any topic involving cars. I recently blogged about the history of his deep interest in cars HERE. 

He's five and also an only child and perhaps is age-appropriately still pretty self-centered. He loves running around and playing silly games with friends, but when the playing stops, he assumes that everybody wants to hear about and/or discuss cars. Occasionally he will talk about the animal kingdom or ask questions he already knows the answers to like is vigintillion a real number--it is. But ninety seven percent of the time, if he's talking (which is ninety seven percent of the time) it's about cars. 

I guess the only person who actually hears him talk about cars (or whatever) all the time is me. Everyone else he encounters is charmed or impressed by his car knowledge--waiters, grocery store clerks other little kids we might run into when we're out. Maybe it's actually a good thing. Maybe I should just get on the car train with him and ride it 'til the wheels come off? I'm actually on the car train with him, I just want him to spend more time in the quiet car. 

I do my part making sure his life is full of non-car-related experiences, books and documentaries--he loves those. My hope is that at some point, he will develop (O_O) and hone his skill to hold a two-sided conversation, and his repertoire will be more diverse. Maybe that's too much to expect from a five year old? I take him out to eat pretty frequently to remove him from distractions found at home or outside and encourage him to keep his body in one place in order to facilitate and encourage two-way conversations. He seems to be en route to being like his dad, knowing a LOT about one thing and a little something about everything, which is a great quality for a guy to have. For now though, he's that kid who just talks about cars all the time. All. The. Time. 

Do you have a chatterbox kid on your hands? How do you manage?

I Heart My Pediatrician and My Natural Medicine

My pediatrician had no open appointments today and I had to get my son in for his well check before another summer camp next week.

Quite interestingly, I learned that she is also black--that's two black female pediatricians in the same office. It was a Twilight Zone moment in Austin. Growing up in Memphis, all my medical caretakers were black because that was majority-black Memphis. I can't put into words the effect that had on my core belief/confidence/pride  in black people. Now I drive many miles between the corners of the Austin Metro area to provide black medical caretakers for my son too. It matters.

Anyway, she totally chastised me for using an Ayurvedic soap on Zack's skin when his eczema flares up. lol She had a good attitude about it, but she got on me. I tried to justify it by saying I also use Cetaphil cleanser and Eucerine moisturizer because Zack is allergic to nuts/butters and oils are ineffective, but she was like, you need to be using steroid ointment! I was amused by it. I'd use the ointment more often excpet for the fine print warns against using that stuff on growing children. When side effects listed on drugs include possible brain bleeding, I'm not too crazy about using it twice a day for 14 days. No thanks. 

I have one foot in medical science and the other in natural science. Treating health problems with natural "alternative" methods takes a few more steps, is messy ad smelly sometimes and takes a lot longer to see results, but it's organic---like US! It was funny to me how hard that pediatrician side-eyed me. Fortunately, my regular pediatrician humors me and is always interested to hear what natural remedies I'll talk to her about every visit.

I totally respect medical science, but the earth was here first.  

Hey, Spring! Hey, Summer Camp Sloop!

Spring done sprung, which means most Summer Camp schedules are up online and filling up fast. It's never too early to get those summer camps locked in, folks. Especially in Austin.

After a stint in wait-list purgatory, a lucky contest win and hearing a tip from a good friend, I got Zack into three awesome camps last summer (Austin Children's Museum (Dino-Mania), Zach Scott Theater (Story Drama) and The Ivy School (Spanish immersion). I watched their websites like a hawk this year as soon as the weather warmed up because I did not want my boy left out in the cold. I could leave him enrolled in his school over the summer, but every kid needs a break. Yes, I am a stay-at-home mom, so my son doesn't NEED summer camps, per se, but I love the ongoing enrichment that these experiences add to his life. Whether or not I have my own selfish reasons for  having him otherwise occupied during the summer days is neither here nor there. *ahem*

Most folks don't have reminders in their phones to check websites for summer camps, and even if they did, keeping track of the over 1200...over 1200... Austin area summer camps in impossible--for a mere parent. But the Rebeccas of Camp Sloop have got you covered. 

Two Rebeccas, both Austin moms and business women, have created a NEW and FREE online database that helps families find the right Texas camp for their kids. These ladies are well-versed about Austin family-friendly activities and the Texas camp landscape.

Visit Camp Sloop for information about:

• Choosing the right camp for your child’s developmental and special needs
• Navigating the exhaustive camp search
• Finding the best camp option for your children, considering geographic location, price, activities, track record and where their friends are going
• Determining which camp is/is not a match for your child
• Reasons to start planning NOW!

About the Rebbecas:

Rebecca D’Amico is president and co-creator of Camp Sloop. D’Amico is always trying to make things go smoother, faster, and easier for parents. She started her first business when she was just 8 years old, and she now runs Nannies from the Heart, which helps parents find suitable nannies.  She lives in Austin with her husband/business partner, Rob, and their two children.

Rebecca Cole is vice-president and co-creator of Camp Sloop. Cole founded Nurture My Child in 2008 to help families with their childcare search and founded Nurture Training in 2009 to partner with child educators and parents.  She lives in Austin with her husband, Mike, and their two children. 

These Austin mamas know their stuff and have made your job so much easier. And did I mention this service is free? Get over to Camp Sloop and get to gettin'. Happy Summer Camp Hunting! 

Am I alone? Are you an early summer camp spot grabber too? 

Austin Zilker Park Kite Festival 2013: Bubbles and Dirt Won

    Kite Festival. I couldn't get the kite up. I deserve a cookie for trying though. Knowing good and well I don't know nothin' 'bout flyin' no kites! But we made lots of bubbles. And Zack found a dirt hill to become one with. So it was fun. Also, I'm sure I killed my clutch when I got stuck on a hill and there was a truck behind me and I tried that hand-break thing I've seen my husband do a few times. I have managed to avoid hills all 11 years I've driven a stick, which is a feat in Austin, but I know where they are and I avoid them. Except that one time.

    One time, I parked on a hill and came out to see my car sandwiched in between two cars. I called my husband, who was at work at the top of the hill, but he was going into a meeting. He tried to talk me through the hand-break thing, which only got me closer to the front bumper of the car behind me. I was this close to asking a table of people who were eating outside the restaurant I was parked next to if anyone drove a stick and could move my car for me, when the owner of the car behind me came out with their food and left. I digress.

    Yesterday, I was trying to avoid traffic exiting the festival and got stuck on a hill. Something definitely burned. Zack stated the obvious, and summed up the whole day "We really need dad here." So first order of business when my husband is back in town--make-up kite flying with our son. Second, assess the damage I did to my car. Something is definitely not right.

    I took a few pictures with my iPhone 4s. Take a look after the jump. 

Don ≠ God.

Recently, I posted a book review for Don Tate's  children's book, "It Jes Happened". I loaned it to a friend to see if she wanted to share it with her son. She hadn't talked to him yet about slavery, and wanted to be sure the book was appropriate for her boy. They both love it. So we were talking about the book over (a very noisy) phone. And this jes happened... 

Her: *sounding surprised and concerned* My son is really into Don. 

Me: Really? That's interesting. Zack started asking about God and spiritual things from a very young age. I like to encourage him to explore and think about the questions, so that when he's older, hopefully he will remain inquisitive about spiritual things and come to his beliefs purely, rather than just digesting what is spoon-fed to him. You, know? I think...blah blah blah...and also...blah blah blah...a funny thing happened...blah blah blah... and so on.

Her: Um. I think you misunderstood me. I said he's really into Don, not God.

Me: *laughs hysterically* Well, Don is a great artist. 

When I thought I heard her say "god", and even when I began pontificating, I was trying to recall if Bill Traylor had mentioned talking to God in the book or something, because there was no reason I could think of why she would throw that into our conversation about this book. I assumed he must have, and I must have forgotten. Welp. Y'all know what they say about making assumptions. The funny thing is, I rarely discuss spirituality. I must have really wanted to talk about it today. 

Oy.

An Unintentional Gift, Guilt Cookies and Redemption

My son turns five next month. The big 5.0. I've been planning his birthday party since after Thanksgiving. My life is essentially what happens in between events. I like throwing parties and entertaining, so I'm kind of always planning something. This year, while I have the pleasure of planning my son's biggest birthday party ever, I'm also planning a gift of atonement. This year will mark the fifth year that I have had the cookie sheet that my friend brought over to keep the baked chicken juices from spilling onto her car seat en route to my house after we brought Zack home from the hospital.

I have had her cookie sheet for five years. And I have used it. I didn't plan to have it this long, it just happened. See, what had happened was, I washed it and set it aside to return to her when I was back on my feet and out with the baby. I'm one if those girls who stays in for six weeks with my baby after birth because that's what my mama, her mama, and all the mamas before her said to do. Six weeks is a long time to remember to return something to somebody. Plus when I did try to return it, she was out of the country. She ended up being out of the country for several months at a time over the years to follow and I just moved on with life. Am I a terrible person? A thief even?

Every time I use her cookie sheet and wash it I feel a bit guilty and tell myself I will take her a new one the next time I see her, but I always forget. Until I see her, and then I remember, and feel guilty for not saying anything. This has gone on for five years! This year, I'm doing away with going to guilt-ridden play-dates and eating guilt-ridden cookies and biscuits.

As I wrap Zachary's birthday present, I will also wrap one for my friend--a new cookie sheet, oven mitts and baking utensils from Target or Crate & Barrel, with a card attached that will read, "Sorry! I can't believe it's been five years!"

Five years! I wonder if she even remembers. lol 

What's the longest you ever kept something that was SO not supposed to be kept?