Homegirl Quel (kel) in Austin

February Foto-A-Day! Day 5: 10 A.M.

As I mentioned before, I am posting all the photos from Fat Mum Slim's February Photo A Day Challenge on Tumblr. I could not resist sharing this one here. 

I took my son out for brunch at Magnolia Cafe South. I thought I had gone wrong as a parent, somehow, when he sat across from me still playing the game he had started while we were waiting to be seated. 

I was relieved when the waiter brought paper and crayons to our tablem,  and my son turned the Touch off and handed it to me saying, "Mom, I'm all done with Angry Birds now, I want to color."

I got the "S" ripped off my chest today. Mom FAIL?

I need my son to learn how to put a jacket on by himself and put it on a hanger. He goes to a Montessori school, so they demand early independence in children. Everything in the classroom, including the coat rack is kid-sized, and the students are required to take care of themselves and get to work, unassisted, when they enter the classroom.

Zee will be four years old in a few weeks. So far, that knowledge has been enough to encourage him to read more. He's sounding words out left and right. The first time he actually read a word I had written out, I shed two tears inside and praised baby Jesus. He's been talking since before he was two and, although I had hoped he'd be a genius baby and reading by the age of 3, I resisted the urge to buy My Baby Can Read and worked with him the old-fashioned way and it's finally happening!  I'm breaking new books out on him so he can't pretend that he's reading, when he's really just reciting from memory. He totally got away with that for a minute—gave his own self away with the little sly grin on his face as he waited for my high-five after pretending he had read something. Knowing that he will be turning four soon, or in his words, "Becoming a big four year old" has also encouraged him to insist on doing other things for himself, like plugging in the iPod Touch to charge it after he's done playing Spore Origins, picking his own afro, and "reading" more often during his quiet time at home. He is becoming a big boy in so many ways, but in many ways, he is still just an almost four year old.

Today, his teacher told me that he put his jacket on backward and then asked me why he can't put his jacket on properly. I was put off by her question, because the obvious answer is that he hasn't learned to do it yet, and I felt like her question was more like 'Why haven't you taught him to put on his jacket properly?' My answer was, "I'm excited to hear that he got both arms in! That's progress!" Then I gave him a high five, and he was excited to go home and try again after his nap. What I wanted to say was, "He's been taking off his jacket here for two and a half years, why doesn't he know how to put it on the hanger yet?" I'm annoyed by her question, but I'm trying to not let it eat at me, which is kinda why I'm bothering you guys with this whole story. Just writing it is cathartic. He goes to an awesome school, and his teacher is amazing. But her question today threw me. I'm fighting the urge to do dress-drills with my son until he gets his jacket on right this afternoon, so I won't ever have to hear about that damn jacket and hangar again. But I'm not going to disturb his chakras by drilling him like that...and it would be a drill, because I have upset myself over this and my energy just wouldn't be right.

I think I'm an awesome mom. With my son sounding out words and whatnot, I feel quite like a Super Mom. That teacher's question today totally deflated me. Maybe I'm just highly emo today and am reading way more into her words than I should. It happens. About once a month. For that reason, I won't let it color my opinion of his teacher in any way. I think she's awesome. I know that ultimately, we both want the same thing for Zack—to be confident, self-directed, self-motivated and self-controlled at school and in life. Still, I think it might be time for us to have a  little sit-down. Obviously she has some questions, and obviously, I have some too.

Between you and me, I think if my boy communicated more like an average three year old and less like a six year-old, he'd totally get a pass for being a little slow to learn to put on a jacket, but it's cool. Could be worse. I can live with higher expectations for my boy. It's actually great training for him and for me too. Raising this little brown boy to grow up and live in this country, we're both going to have to learn to deal with higher expectations  every step of the way and be ready to exceed them every time. It's gonna be a long road too…it's just a jacket and I'm in blog-therapy over it! Ay, dios mio!

P.S. Should my almost four year old know how to put on a jacket by now? Have I failed at motherhood in some way? I need to know. 

WINNING as a Stay At Home Mom Today.

My son's school was closed today, so he was home with me for a change. I had planned our day ahead, but had no idea how much extra stuff I would get done. I swear there is something  about actually having my child home, as a stay at home mom, that makes me super productive.

On a normal day, after I drop him off at school, I'm constantly moving from one to-do-list item to the next, but never really completely crossing anything off it. I'd start one thing, then check Facebook, then start another thing, then paint my nails while checking Facebook, then start something else, then eat, then it's time to go pick my son up from school. Today though, I got things done that weren't even on my list.

We woke up at the same time we normally do. I made breakfast and actually ate it at the table with my son. I showered and dressed for the gym and we were off. On the way out the door, I grabbed two scraps of yarn that I'm running out of and needed to match and buy more of to complete some projects I'm working on. We went to the craft store for the yarn first, then to the gym and finally the grocery store (where I got my son to sound out "asparagus" on the label when he couldn't recall what the vegetable was) before heading back home. We got home 45 minutes before my boy's nap time. He watched PBS while I made his lunch. Then we ate lunch together, read a book, and he was down for his nap on time. 

During my son's 3-hour nap, I managed to nap for about an hour myself, bake vegan, gluten-free quinoa muffins for my son (and drafted a blog post about it) and edit & post two vlogs for one of my other blogs, (http://www.girldidyousee.blogspot.com). While he ate his post-nap snack, I put a one-pot dinner dish on (veggie stew consisting of fresh okra, corn, red & green peppers, onions, celery, carrots & canned whole tomatoes all seasoned with a glorious beef neck bone). He's in the bath tub now and I'm writing this blog post. 

And my day isn't even over. I still plan to go back to the gym to log some miles on Nike+ tonight to ramp up my 5k training. 

Oh, and I cleaned the house here and there all day and the place looks right spiffy. 

Y'all if I come home after the gym, read something, and give my husband some (I will not be blogging about that), this day goes down in history as a certified, Homegirl SAHM WIN. 

 

I'm Back! From a much needed tropical vacation.

I am back off a 17 day visit with my in-laws in St. Vincent & The Grenadines. We have been back there many times since my husband brought me to meet his family after we had been dating for almost 2 years in 1998. It is a small island and does not change much, so it always feels like home when I am there. This was our third time taking our son, but it was different because he is 3 years old now and really got to know his aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents. We went to the same beach and posted up under the same almond tree every day, as usual. Mostly, we just sat around my in-laws' house-- windows and doors open--or on the porch enjoying the breeze and the constant flow of visitors. My husband and I left our son with his folks and took a ferry over to a resort on Bequia, a neighboring island, for two nights to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary together.

There is nothing like taking a break from the every day routine with the family, especially if you are a stay at home mom. For 17 days, I got a break from the busyness of taking care of a child, getting in gym time and running a household and all that entails, and my husband got a break from work and other obligations that keep me handling most of the details of daily life by myself. He relaxed completely, his Caribbean accent got thicker and his skin tone got darker (#WIN and WIN). We got to be boo'ed up all the time and sneakin' and freakin' in his parent's house when we could. Even with a 3 year old running around, it felt like old times. Seventeen days was just enough time for us to remember why we bother to be bothered with family life.

The routine at home is the same. He's busy. I'm busy. My 3 year old is bossy. But we're still a little high, running of fumes from our family vacation. If we're lucky, that will sustain us until our next one. 

Here are a few pics:

Zilker Park Kite Festival 2011

The stars aligned for us at the Kite Festival last weekend... eventually. The day actually started out with a series of certifiable FAILs. 

When we had gotten our 3-year old and all of our park-day baggage packed into the car, it hit me that we were starting our adventure approximately 5 minutes before my toddler's nap time. I wouldn't have been so bad if we could go from the car to the park in 20 minutes, but I knew we would be in the car at least an hour during our drive from the suburbs, through the maze of downtown traffic and the joys of finding a place to park. Awesome.

So we get on the road and a few more things occur to me:

The Hey Lollies @ Cherrywood Coffeehouse Austin, TX

When I saw this concert posted on the Parent Wise Facebook page about a week ago, my first impulse was to skip it. Mainly because it was to take place on a Sunday morning at 10:30, when I'm usually in bed, at the gym or at church. Then I considered my son who is a ball of energy, just turned three and who loves music. I fought through my selfish bone and accessed my selfless mommy bone and put The Hey Lollies kid's music and puppet show  on my calendar. I also shared it with my Mocha Moms group. 

Yesterday morning we got off to a late start, but arrived at Cherrywood Coffeehouse just in time to see the second half of the show., and for breakfast! Y'all know I love coffee, I love to sing and I love to get silly-- so to sit with my son and enjoy all of the above was a treat. The performance was awesome and the women were, as expected, so warm and welcoming letting some kids sit on stage and engaging them with hugs and hellos after the show was over. I am an instant fan of The Hey Lollies. 

Here is a video of my son enjoying the show, complete with photos and slow-mo toddler footwork action. Enjoy!

They have more shows scheduled for March. If you're in Austin, get ye there to see them. It's great weekend fun. Show times and locations listed after the jump.

Sam-I-Am Is My Homeboy

Green Eggs and Ham is one of my three year old's favorite bedtime reads at the moment. He picks it about three or four nights a week. Each time, I oblige him...even though the book is like a million pages long. It's amazing how many times I can re-read the longet books and re-watch Disney movies without getting too tired of it. I do not necessarily love it, but he enjoys every time like it's the first time, and I do my best to not be a buzz-kill. 

My son is a picky eater. It's a general toddler pickyness born from a limited diet due to food allergies and texture aversion. When I spotted Green Eggs and Ham on the shelf at my favorite kid's resale store, Kid to Kid, I remembered how persistent Sam-I-Am was in wearing down that fuzzy man until he tried those eggs. Figured I could learn some things from Sam...and learn I did. 

A few days ago my son ate half of a chicken thigh, which we celebrated, as we do anytime he actually swallows anything he's had to chew first. I knew I was one step closer to sending him to school with a non-pureed lunch. So I offered him some stewed potatoes. This is how it all went down:

Photos: GMZ Soular Foods Community Garden Spring Planting 2011

The Spring planting was just as fun and productive as the one last fall. My son was so tickled at the sight of the vegetables in the ground. Now, when we're in the produce section of the grocery store, he says, "...like in the garden" when he points to and names vegetables there. If you're in Austin, you should totally join the facebook group and get involved. It's free. 

What I learned: My First Week Home With A Sick Child

Three things...

1. The voice for the school of fish in Finding Nemo is the same one for Mack in Cars. I watched Finding Nemo, whilst also being my sons human recliner, about 15 times (totally not exaggerrating and may, in fact, be underestimating) over the 10 days we were home fighting his fever. I let him choose his TV entertainment, and the boy loves Finding Nemo. We also watched Wall-E about as many times. And speaking of Wall-E...soundtrack...awesome?! One google search and the whole world of soundtracks for non-musical Disney films was before me. Before I became a mom, I swore I wouldn't be a Disney mom. I don't know how this happened. Just please lord, don't let me ever have a girl. I'm not sure I could stomach the princesses.  
2. I missed my daily morning gym time. I've grown so use to the little conversations and interactions with my gym peeps that I missed that about as much as I did my actual workouts. I didn't realize how much that time accounts for my daily social life. The gym is like my office, if I had a nine to five. I talk to people all throughout the day on the phone and online, but apparently I really value talking to people, even casual acquaintances, in person. 
3. As much as I missed my gym time, I learned that I actually miss being a real stay at home mom. Technically, since my son is in school full-time now, I am a mom who does not work outside the home. There's no mothering going on during the day. I had no idea how much I missed doing it all day. The hugs, the little teaching opportunities, the hugs (I know I said that twice). Glad we're looking to grow our family soon. It's definitely time. 

A Conversation With My Son

We're in the car, on the way to the gym...

Him: "Mom? Look at the sky!"

Me: "I see it, Papa."

Him: "The clouds are so beautiful."

Me: "Yes they are, Papa."

Him: "Mom? Remember when I touched the clouds?"

Me: "When did you touch the clouds?"

Him: "When I was sleeping. In my eyes. I touched the clouds."

Me: "Wow, that's awesome!"

Him: "Mhm. That is awesome."

 

Yo Gabba Gabba Live in Austin was awesome!

A little background. I entered a video of my two year old playing drums in the Yo Gabba Gabba Cool Tricks Facebook contest. Then I begged for my Facebook friends to vote for weeks on end. Thanks to their votes, he won! The prize: VIP tickets to the show, tons of organic toddler snacks by Revolution Foods and access to the after party to meet the Gabba Gang. I thought we would get to meet DJ Lance too, but when he didn't show up early on at the after party, we asked the door guys and alas, it was not meant to be. No DJ Lance. But we sat so close to the stage, that every time he came to our side of the stage, he appeared to wave right at us. Although I can't say definitively, my guess is that he did wave right at us because we stuck out like brown...brown...sore thumbs in a sea of white thumbs. Mhm. DJ Lance waving at us was enough for my son to think he had actually met DJ Lance, which works for me.

Help DJ Lance's awesomest little fan meet him in person, won't you?

*Update-- He totally WON! Thanks to everyone who voted. We're going to party with the Yo Gabba Gabba Crew LIVE, all thanks to your votes. This RAWKS! What to wear?!*

I couldn't resist entering him into this video contest. DJ Lance and Crew are coming to our town and the video that gets the most votes (per town) will be played at the show! And my almost-three-year-old will get to meet DJ Lance! And he LOVES DJ Lance. Please watch the video (he's not just fooling around, he really plays a tight beat) and PLEASE VOTE! 

He's a few months away from turning 3, and loves music, which is why I think he's so into DJ Lance and Yo Gabba Gabba. One time, a firefighter asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up...his answer...DJ Lance. He was also DJ Lance for Halloween... 

Toddlers Have Got It Figured Out

Joie de Vivre

I admire the way toddlers live their little lives with such abandon. They are so carefree! To them, it is perfectly acceptable to lay down in the dirt and play if that's what brings them the most happiness at that moment--it's just dirt, after all. My son plays this way often. The first time I saw him do that, I fought the urge to tell him to get up out of the dirt, 'cause it's dirty. I'm glad I did. Right now, he's a kind of free that we humans get to be for only so long. I encourage that and celebrate it every chance I get. My child is so blissful and free, and it is rubbing off on me. I hope he keeps that basic joy of life about him as he matures. 

5 More Randoms...

It's been a while since I've posted. Even longer since I've written a 'Randoms' post. I was just checking my social networking sites and thinking during my quiet time this morning--after dropping the boy at school and before going to the gym. Picture me sipping on a cup of tea, standing (I rarely sit down during the day--even eat standing up) at my kitchen counter on my netbook. These were my thoughts...

1. I want them to bring back Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy on SNL.I thought about that when I had my own Handyesque deep thought--> We say summertime and wintertime and springtime, but not falltime. What's up with that?

2. I got a Kindle for my birthday. I bought a hard cover book the same day. I'm warming up to it. 

3. There was a delay on my iPhone4 order and we ended up not buying it when it arrived at the store. I saw a commercial for the Blackberry Torch and am torn now because there's an option for me to keep my beloved Blackberry buttons AND get a touchscreen for browsing. Both phones will cost the same thing with my plan upgrade. Heading over to the store to play with the Torch today. Decisions, decisions...
 
4. I looked at my self in the mirror for the first...er...second time in Zumba last night. I use to not look because I didn't want to KNOW how crazy I looked trying to dance the samba. I felt better picturing myself getting down like the Brazilian Carnival girls in my head. But last night, after several months of taking Zumba and totally by accident, I looked...and I LIKED! :) 

5. Today was my first snack day for my son's class. I bought a watermelon and cubed it for the kid's morning snack. I felt like a mom. :) It's so much fun being a toddler's mom. I think I'll stay here for a while.

 

My son is featured on a major motion picture DVD!

I miscarried and blogged about it.

The day I posted about my miscarriage was the same day my son would be born a year later. How 'bout that?! 

I'm reposting this as part of the SITS Girls "Back to Blogging" event...

So basically, miscarriages suck. (Originally posted on February 19, 2007)

I know y'all didn't even know I had been pregnant, but I was. We found out I had miscarried during my second sonogram. The fetus never developed. The following day I had it surgically removed via a D and C (a.k.a. DNC) or Democratic National Convention as Billy announced when he Googled it to see what D.N.C. stood for.

Yes, I cried...gut, snot, ugly cried about every 15 minutes the first 36 hours after we found out, and yes, I felt extremely bipolar because I tried to stay positive and just as I got to a point of feeling good and even smiling, the smile cracked back into gut, snot, ugly crying. After two days of trying to control the tears, on the third day I gave in to the pain and stayed in bed and cried all morning and most of the afternoon. After that I was a little better. I still cry sometimes. For the past few months I've been trying to focus on the positive things in my life (I have SO much to be grateful for) and that positive thinking has to continue even in the hideous face of a miscarriage.

If you know me in real life, you know if anybody can find the bright side of having a miscarriage, that anybody is me. I've been doing everything I can to keep from throwing myself into depression over this. So far so good.

It's All About The Poo

My 2.5 year old had his first poo on the potty this weekend! In honor of this awesomely funky brown milestone, I'm posting one of my favorite songs from my favorite episode of my favorite show. Here's Turk and J.D. on Scrubs singing the ridiculously appropriate song, Everything Comes Down To Poo...

Everything Comes Down To Poo 

Continue reading for a surprisingly brief blow-by-blow of how my boy flushed his first potty poo.

It happened. I cried after dropping my kid off at preschool.

I have been dropping him off at school for two weeks. Dropped him off for a two month period at a home daycare earlier this year. Didn't cry once. The difference between all those other times and today is that I didn't help him out of the car, hold his hand and walk him to his classroom. His new school is a strict Montessori school, which means that they stress detaching and independence blahblahblah. lol Parents are allowed to walk kids in for the first two weeks. After that we have to stall the car at the sidewalk as teachers and assistants do the honors. Of course my kid was fine. On the way there I had explained to him that mommy wouldn't go inside with him this time. Told him that Ms. Teacher Assistant was going to help him out of the car and that he would say bye-bye to mommy and go inside with the T.A. He said, "Ok."

When we pulled up, Ms. T.A. opened his door and they exchanged morning pleasantries. Another assistant opened the passenger side door and grabbed the nap mat, lunch box, diapers and clothes for the week. He sang a quick "bye-bye mama" from the sidewalk before both doors closed at about the same time. I moved my car up a bit and stopped at the end of the driveway to watch him enter the school with the two women. At first I used the rear view mirror, but then just like in the sappy first day of school commercials, I turned around in the car to watch him with my own eyes. His shoe had come off when Ms. T.A. took him out of the car. She helped him put it back on, held his hand and they all disappeared through the gates of the school. Tears.

I cried for about 5 minutes--about the length of my drive back home. When I told my husband what happened, all teary and emotional and feeling kinda silly, I asked him, "Why do women do that?" He said that's how God made women...moms...and that I shouldn't beat myself up about it. It is what it is. I'm not embarrassed or anything, just didn't expect to get emotional like that. I think him getting out and starting his day there without me just symbolized him not needing me as much anymore. I know he still needs me, I mean duh, but I really had a moment when he disappeared behind those gates without me.

I do get to go to his classroom to pick him up though. So I guess now I'll appreciate that moment more--when he's elated to see me and calls out to me and gestures to be picked up and hugged. As a stay at home mom, I don't get many of those moments. The boy saves up all that excitement for daddy when he gets home from work everyday. So now I get to be missed a bit too...get some of that extra loving in the afternoon. I make no apologies for my big mom-ego. :-D

30 Things: Summer 2010

My 2 year-old started Montessori School last week after being home with me since the day he was born. I'm going through all the expected emotions and anxieties associated with that, but mostly I'm excited for him. I also excited for me because I finally get to have real time off to start and complete projects that I've been meaning to get to and to explore options for the next chapter of my life, which will definitely include more babies (sooner than later) and any number of awesome opportunities to go back into my professional field (Market Research) on MY terms. But enough about that...

More yadayadayada and The List after the jump. FYI, this list lives in the "I Make Lists" section of the site menu up yonder.)

Also, that's his lunch bag he is holding, not a six pack.

Continue reading...

World Cup Soccer 2010:Why I'm Convinced This Sport Might Be Worth Getting Into

It was a pretty fun morning for my son today. He loves it when all three of us (he, mom, dad) are home together. His dad worked from home until lunch time and totally coincidentally, I'm sure, the first official game of the 2010 World Cup Soccer championship just so happened to be playing on the television. As usual, the boy was drawn to the TV like a magnet once  the sound of sports is in the air. Y'all know the sound: a steady stream of horns, screaming fans with their indeterminable chants and sports announcers screaming above it all. If I never hear that sound ever again, I'd be happy, but It's like a beacon to my son. Whenever my husband tunes in to sports, my son drops whatever he might be holding at the moment, freezes and stares off into space for a moment to make sure his ears aren't deceiving him and the moment he's sure that sports are on, he wastes no time running for his spot right on dad's lap in front of the big flat screen. So that was the scene in our house this morning...along with my husband stealing glances at his work laptop, jumping up every now and then to kick the ball back and forth and into our mini soccer goal with the boy, and all the other requisite sports fan sounds and gestures you sports fans make while watching a game.

When my son got hungry enough, he finally sat down for breakfast. As he was eating, he paused and looked up at me. Then he asked the most unexpected question of me. He asked, "Mama? What's Africa?" Since the World Cup is taking place in South Africa this year, he must have heard the word repeated enough times for it to stick. It was such a loaded question, that all I could come up with at that moment was, "Papa, Africa is a place."  But I wasn't finished. Mentally, I was already planning my follow-up for our conversation time later. I was excited about the question for two reasons that should be obvious enough that I don't even have to say, but just in case you're not with me already on this, here are the reasons: 1. Hello? My black American/West Indian son just asked me about the frickin' land of our ancestors! And 2. My 2 year-old has asked about a place. He doesn't know it's a place yet, but still. What a teaching opportunity! We have talked about his dad's country and he recognizes the flag and all, but those are things we introduced to him. He never asked about them. The fact that he asked about Africa means he's curious about the word. So of course now, I get to introduce globes and maps and books and puzzles, because he's obviously ripe for his first real lesson in geography, right? And what better place to start than Africa? South Africa. And I think we'll start with the flag. 

My son's first lessons in Geography will begin in Africa. Where everything else began. For that reason, I totally dig World Cup Soccer 2010. And I will follow it along with the males who live in this house with me, just to teach Zack the flags of the countries represented in each game. Again, what an awesome teaching opportunity?! See?! I knew sports were good for something.