I'm happier now that I'm a mom, but it's not all about the baby.

So I think I've figured out why people say becoming a parent is all sappy and happy and the best thing that will ever happen to you blah blah blah. With all that was involved in growing a whole person inside me, then being the only person on the whole planet responsible for the basic daily care and nurturing of another helpless human including the awesome figure reconstruction, the sleep deprivation and the poop, the overwhelming joy that I hear about seemed overstated. But today, as I was driving home with my son in the backseat, I noted how happy I was when I saw the rain this morning, and how excited I got at the sight of a school bus passing us on the road. I also thought about how much I look forward to the garbage pick-up guys to come by every Monday. Before becoming a parent, I didn't care about those things. And rain on a weekday morning usually evoked emotions very opposite of excitement in me. But I'm giddy at the sight of them now, because I get to show my son the rain, and the school bus, and the garbage truck, and seeing him light up the way he does just makes my insides all mushy. It's a bit selfish (which is a word that has been used to describe me, but I think everybody should be a little selfish), but the happiness my child has brought into my life isn't just about him. He makes me live inside of every moment when we're out in the world together. I'm just happier in general, I think, because I have a hundred little reasons to genuinely scream and laugh and speak in a high-pitched voice out of utter joy that, "YES! There's a CUP!"  I know the day will come when rain and big trucks won't matter to anybody in this house. Hopefully by then I will have learned to live inside of every moment and enjoy as many happy moments as I do now.

Comments

[Adriane]

This is exactly what I needed at exactly the right time. I'm in the process of making a big decision, and what I have just begun to realize is the I do too much work trying to plan and predict and not enough recognizing when I'm genuinely happy and letting myself be in the space at that time. Or better yet, I could actually try to maintain that feeling instead of leaping to the next "opportunity". I'm going to try sitting still and breathing in the contentment that I'm feeling these days instead of inviting the drama that often comes with "opportunity". Not every opportunity needs to be taken advantage of. They've come along pretty regularly. They'll come again.

[Philippa]

Cute insight. My first child, my son is only 3 weeks old today and I share your feelings. I get excited and giddy when I think about all the different stuff I get to teach him. I love it.

[Quel]

@ Adriane, I'm so glad this resonated with you.
@ Philippa, congratulations! Enjoy the journey. :)

[kia]

Children do make you appreciate the little things. My youngest son is two. Teaching him new words thrills me. My oldest son is eight. Helping him with his homework makes me realize all the stuff I've forgotten.

[wounded healer]

wow - u make motherhood sound beautiful; my uterus hurts...but i guess i'll get a puppy and still say "there's your bowl!"

[Carolyn (Mom)]

Quel, you are a great mom. You made me remember how I enjoyed al three of you. I wanted to take care of you all and do the things I did. Quel, you are doing so much more. Keep up the good work.

[Quel]

@ Kia- Oh man, I forgot about homework days. I'll enjoy these next few years off.

@ Wounded Healer- Puppy's are awesome baby stand-ins! And in spite of what many people say, they're still your babies when the real one comes along.

@ Mom- Thank You Momma! :)

[Paulasoul]

Loved this!