I'm happier now that I'm a mom, but it's not all about the baby.
So I think I've figured out why people say becoming a parent is all sappy and happy and the best thing that will ever happen to you blah blah blah. With all that was involved in growing a whole person inside me, then being the only person on the whole planet responsible for the basic daily care and nurturing of another helpless human including the awesome figure reconstruction, the sleep deprivation and the poop, the overwhelming joy that I hear about seemed overstated. But today, as I was driving home with my son in the backseat, I noted how happy I was when I saw the rain this morning, and how excited I got at the sight of a school bus passing us on the road. I also thought about how much I look forward to the garbage pick-up guys to come by every Monday. Before becoming a parent, I didn't care about those things. And rain on a weekday morning usually evoked emotions very opposite of excitement in me. But I'm giddy at the sight of them now, because I get to show my son the rain, and the school bus, and the garbage truck, and seeing him light up the way he does just makes my insides all mushy. It's a bit selfish (which is a word that has been used to describe me, but I think everybody should be a little selfish), but the happiness my child has brought into my life isn't just about him. He makes me live inside of every moment when we're out in the world together. I'm just happier in general, I think, because I have a hundred little reasons to genuinely scream and laugh and speak in a high-pitched voice out of utter joy that, "YES! There's a CUP!" I know the day will come when rain and big trucks won't matter to anybody in this house. Hopefully by then I will have learned to live inside of every moment and enjoy as many happy moments as I do now.
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